I'll check in at noon

Mr. Ladies Man where are you?
Joe?
My friendly counter counterculturalist?
Where is that big fucking stick
elagantly coverd in my blood

Yeah that's the one.
.
.
splat, squish, drip
.
.
We might have to call the cops this time
I think we broke it.
Who's blood is this anyway?

head games

the consumption dream:
this one reoccurs always in my parents bedroom at the old house...the first one when i was about 10. laying on the bed. one feather falls out of the ceiling vent as i lookup. Never falling in a larger quantity than one, accumulating to twenty, hundreds, thousands...suddenly consumed by them but swimming in them. Not drowning just being consumed.
Two night ago i had it with Autumn leaves.
Sequence of emotions:
the joy of the single piece, the joy and fear of the abundance, then the beauty of the colors, then the fear of being crushed, devoured. An overwhelming feeling of not being able to be happy or sad about it...tormenting but beautiful. scary but lovely.

ok...maybe i am (going) "unstable"

laughing at myself has become a new passed time.
irrational thoughts... overspoken outbursts.
hyperactive spells of animosity, paranioa, and plain idiodicy
"chilling out" redefined as blank stares.
not being able to say the word c--zy anymore

buying single tickets to concerts.

uneventful event

old...yes.
they played it last monday at their show.
i went alone.
it was fine.
i bought a t-shirt to commemerate my 30.

recycle thoughts

about susana...
cute and super cool and yes, modest

about littly italy
the food sucks but the name of the street rocks....mulberry

about brooklyn
its a great place...you should live there for a year

about "4 adults only"
i dont know what this mean

maybe not the way to do things but it was done...by yours truely.

i'm not (going) crazy

submerged in our new tub by fog water
swearing it doesnt exist as it floats by
wrinkled hands at my crystal eyelashes
tracing the paths to the spout
squinting...straning to see its origins

double sided tape

I am squeezed between two standard walls
with the silver lining at the top almost grey
smitten by the pressure
but mor smitten by the glare

ps. jibber jabber
hitter hatter
bitter batter

sigh

so the deal is to go back home every january and this january we may not go.
miss my family...my "home".
yes i am home with todd in nyc
but still miss the hot summers...the huge highways, the cool air conditioned sheets, and the power outages after hurricanes.

-watermelon is healthy

LEAVING BK

:)

*
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W
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H
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*

selfish

im tired.
exhausted.
cutting cactus, burning heat.
tread on the dusty pebbles.
the hole lies ahead
filled with still reflections
microscopic leeches at my throat
swelling
taking me
killing me
suffocated by my daydreams

coming soon

to a theatre near you
in your head
a story about you and me
divided by a split second
in space, called decision

dont miss out
you will be captivated
by real life
and whimsical dreams
of love and heartbreak and happy endings

monday night $1 beer

dressed in black
ur sweet face
take his seat
smile at me
join me
slow
awkward
beautiful
i should go
on my bike
grasp my lock
ur face was unforgettable

everything becomes nothing

stretched along this couch
eyes strain teared and open
red panties and pink tank wrinkle at my skin
as my fingertips dance at my navel
daydreaming
dreaming
streaming
music
playing
can u hear me?

rain

my thin blouse revealing my teal tank under
letting the damp hair at my cheeks
i look unkept, and bright, and carefree
maybe i look crazy?
no, that guy just did the 180
maybe he likes crazies?
I appproach the 5 dollar umbrella stand
but my green shoes proceed, passed
as water drips from my nose
fluttered eyes, I give the sky my face
In return it takes my thoughts
my fears, my doubts.
and gives me the rain...pouring rain.

bunnys hop

Bunnies hop and they hop...and are undeniably, irressistably cute.
that's what they do best and not much more.