I have become so boring. I think i need to read a book. need new information or simply imformation that is translated differently than im accustomed to.
then i can retranslate to my liking and spill it out over drinks and conversation and feel proud that i contributed to this thing called socializing.
all feels so useless at times.
oh yeah...merry christmas everyone concerned.

green grass

sometimes you can sit in a field of love and only feel the people that pass you by. as the breeze resonates life and hope, the passerbys are strolling to a different place.
should you follow them or bask in the sun?

blinking oh so slowly

after hearing the words "we dont have time to sleep! fuck!" i actually became angrier at the knot in my throat that grew, at the verge of tears. noones fault but my own. but it was an intersting week or two as i expected...always brings us all closer together even if we do smell bad, are in pissy moods, and have delirious ruptures of laughter and mockery.
so all and any of you paying attention...for the most part, I'll be done with my masters of architecture education tomorrow, today, at 6pm...i have yet to write the thesis book, to be submitted on Jan 15...but i think ill enjoy the long days at the cafe.
and best of all, i get ot sleep tonight...i get to sleep tonight...i get to sleep tonight...holy fuck! i get to go home and sleep tonight. exhausted happiness...yes, its that good.

B to da S to da weeeet

[que violin]
"bitter it is now, sweet it is later..."
the guy in the elevator explained this to me like i didnt already know it and the girl next to us talked [bragged] about how busy she is and how its all so stressfull...god i really do hate elevator rides sometimes.
bitter susy rides this elevator...sweet susy is getting beat to a pulp by some ladies man with a big fucking stick. maybe that was yesterday or the day before, NO, holy shit, im still getting mangled!!!
*ding*
my floor.
no mercy bitch!

attention please

extracting all energy from able-minded individuals willing to donate.
positive energy, brain power and endurance would be most appreciated.

Please be curteous if participating. i am not a disposal center for your bad energy or non-coherent brain power or any other unwanted energy you may be trying to get rid of.

what you send will become the property of susandia and I am not responsible for lost or stolen energy.

I give my deepest regards and thank you all for your donations.

Sincerely,
Susandia

brush away those tears love
sweep away those fears love
climb atop your snowy mountain
scream your cursed words
i deserve to hear them
you deserve to tell them

but you dont
and you wont

special appearrance by [drum roll please]

the wind was splitting at my face, sticking the pants to my shins.
cold and grey.
"what the fuck have you been doing?"
"what the fuck have you been thinking?"
"get your shit together man!"
the feeling of pure clarity with a hint of self-loathing...
"SUZEN!!!!!" from atop the fourth floor, out the window fabian yells, snapping me back to the walk light and corner red brick...
blowing my kiss up to the air...sending all my shit away